Not Starsky
by wneleh
Summary: John's not Starsky, Ronon's not Hutch, Rodney's not Huggy Bear.


Disclaimer: Not mine!

Rated T for language and remembered bigotry.

Spoilers for SGA 5x03 "Broken Ties."

Not Starsky

by Helen W.

_Near the end of "Broken Ties"..._

Ronon keeps calling for me. He's stopped asking me to kill him, but I don't think he'd object, and I can barely stand it.

There's an episode of 'Starsky and Hutch'… how did it go? Hutch was addicted to something, probably heroin. And Starsky was detoxing him by himself, or maybe with some help from that black guy, their friend who owned the bar.

Hutch was crying and begging for drugs, and Starsky held him through the whole thing. I couldn't believe it. I'd never seen men do more than a handshake, and there was Hutch in Starsky's arms.

Yeah, now I remember. I was watching a rerun of that episode after school one day and Dave walked in and said, oh, what was it? Something like, "That show's so gay." And I'd already been feeling a little ashamed for Hutch, because I knew that he shouldn't be letting anyone see him like that, but I hadn't known there was a word for it.

"Gay?" I asked.

"Yeah," Dave said. "They're a couple of fags."

I didn't know what that meant either, but I knew that 'gay' and 'fag' had to be first-order bad words from the way Dave said them, and whatever they meant had to be pretty awful.

'Starsky and Hutch' stayed my favorite show for a couple of years. I liked the action parts best - how they worked as a team, and how they were better shots and better fighters than anyone else, most of the time, even the big guys. When they'd end up comforting each other - and that happened A LOT - I'd worry, though, because weren't they going to get in trouble?

I hope Dave's not such a bigot anymore - hell, he may be gay, for all I know. I really don't care, though I guess I hope he's happy, and not making other people miserable.

It's not like he made me develop a guy-touch phobia or anything. I let Ronon throw me around, I yank or swat at Rodney all the time. But it's like I have a three-motion vocabulary or something when it comes to guys. I just don't know how to do more.

Hell, I'm not Starsky. But I can at least go be with Ronon for a while, let him know he's not alone in this.

* * *

"How is he?" McKay asks as I come out. I saw him up in the observation area, so I guess he came down when he saw me start to leave.

This whole thing has hit him hard, and I wonder what his withdrawal a couple of years ago was like. God, I hope Carson was kind to him.

I shrug and keep walking. "He's going through hell, but at least he's quiet now," I say.

"It can't go on too much longer like this," McKay says, then he catches my arm and I let him pull me to a stop. "Why do you stand so far back from him?" he asks. "You don't really think he's going to hurt you, do you?"

"I don't stand that far back," I say.

"Yes you do. You should be closer, talk to him or something. That's what I'm going to go do in a minute."

"Well, whatever," I say. "But I'm not Starsky, you know."

Rodney looks at me like I'm crazy, and score one for me, because bewildering him is one of the sources of joy in my life. Then I realize what I just said, and hope that Rodney lets it go…

But, of course not. Now he looks pissed off. "Yeah, yeah, not Starsky. Got it. But, Colonel, you might have noticed that Ronon's not Hutch."

"Yeah, so…" Time to redirect. "Don't tell me you actually watched American cop shows when you were a kid."

"I liked the car, okay? The Torino," he says. "But let's get back to the matter at hand. You're not Starsky. Nobody expects you to be Starsky; God knows I don't. Be yourself, okay? You're halfway competent when you try."

He walks back toward the isolation room, then turns when he gets to the door. "Just one more thing… if you are Starsky, Ronon and I get to split being Hutch, because there's no way I'm Huggy Bear."

No argument here!

* * *

They've moved Ronon to the infirmary; he's going be fine, physically at least. He still feels like shit, though, and I can't imagine what's going through his head right now.

No, I can imagine what's going through his head, I just wish I couldn't.

If I was Starsky, I'd know what to do; I might even hold his hand or something. But, God, just no. And Ronon, yeah, I get what Rodney was saying - Ronon's not Hutch.

I bet he could use something to hold onto, though.

I think I'll go find him a really big knife.

THE END

Thanks, mashfanficchick, for the crash course in S&H!

All feedback welcomed, here, or via email.


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